Okay, so it’s been a while since I’ve posted much of anything. I didn’t mean for this to turn out as a place where I talk about dating, but whatever. This is my private blog and I’ll talk about whatever! 🙂
I posted when I first started this about a guy I didn’t think returned my feelings. Well, as it turned out he did and we’re two weeks into a committed relationship. I’m not quite a commitmentphobe, I can commit, but I’m cautious about it. All of that aside, Valentine’s Day was our official two week mark.
A lot of people hate Valentine’s Day, others love it. I’m pretty moderate about it. I can take it or leave it, but I generally chose to celebrate it, single or in a relationship.
This year I didn’t really know what to do. Yeah, it felt like a little too soon to do anything big with a new guy in a fresh relationship. The days leading up to Valentine’s the new boyfriend asked me what my favorite candy was, we talked about our preferences of dark or milk chocolate. He talked about going to the Godiva store. Even asked me what my favorite flower was. I figured, based on those questions, he was going to get me something. Maybe something small which would be a relief, but still something.
I decided sort of last minute that I would go ahead and get him a gift. I ran to the store and got a pink, red and heart patterned Chinese take-out box, some tissue paper, candy and some gum. Instead of buying something off the shelf, I made a candy basket of his favorite things. I like to do thoughtful presents I know people will like without a doubt. I really enjoy giving gifts. It’s one of the things I really like to do in a relationship, be that with a friend, significant other or family member.
He shows up after work and ignores the present sitting conspicuously on a table in the central area of the room. I let it slide since he’s empty handed and now I feel awkward. We grabbed food, brought it back and ate all with the present sitting on the side table. While we’re eating he makes a comment about really hating Valentine’s Day, to which I responded that he could step off my parade because I was having a good day. And oh, by the way, I put the box in his lap.
Really? What else was I going to do? There was no graceful way out of the situation.
It wasn’t a big deal. Sure, I felt like an ass after listening to him talk about how ridiculous Valentine’s was and then handing him a gift. We should have talked about not celebrating it beforehand. It wasn’t a big deal and I was going to put it behind me.
That said, it’s really awkward to have co-workers and friends ask what we did for Valentine’s and have to confess that he didn’t get me anything, while I got him something that was actually pretty cool once I’d put all the components together. I went to a party on Saturday night at a mutual friend’s house and again, had to tell the same story. Sure, each time I tell it I feel a little more awful about it.
As it turns out this friend has been talking to my boyfriend and now my boyfriend is asking why he’s the last person to know I’m upset about it. Actually, he was the first. I said it to his face that night, but he doesn’t recall this. We’re now having a not-lovely text conversation/disagreement about the whole thing. He’s made some poor word choices which now hurt my feelings even more. It’s annoying that we really should have had this conversation to head off all this mess and instead it’s getting to be something stupid.
I don’t care about Valentine’s Day. What I care about is a lack of conversation, that the poor communication has made me feel like crap for doing something I wanted to be a gesture of how much I care for him.
And that’s how I feel about that. *sigh*